I have so much to say today. 

On Friday evening we went over to Mike's mom's house and had a three hour discussion with him and his mom.  The discussion went really well.  We started out with the hard stuff like drinking, sex, and drugs.  Mike did admit to drinking and sex but denied drugs so I hope he is being honest about that part that he really isn't doing that.  It is really hard to tell these days because Mike lies far more than he tells the truth.  We once again shared with him all the reasons of why he shouldn't be doing those things and the consequences of it all being illegal and how he could land himself up in jail or prison.  We also shared with him that the person supplying him with alcohol is toying with a $5000 fine and up to 6 months in prison.  We told him we would act upon it if we caught him drinking or with alcohol in his possession again.  The having sex issue is really becoming more and more serious.  I totally appreciate the responses I received about not forcing Mike to break up with his girlfriend.  My husband, Mike's mom, and I all have all thought about the fact that if we do force them to break up it will only cause them to try to be together even more so.  Without being too graphic there is a solid reason why we do not want them together.....at least not alone.  While I need not have to state the obvious of it being unbiblical to have premarital sex I will just say we recently learned that Mike's girlfriend is carrying something and it is NOT a baby.  I am sure you can think about it for a minute and get what I mean. Mike is completely unfazed by this. So you can see why it is vitally important we not allow them to be together-alone!  While this puppy love probably will not last forever in the end it could effect Mike and having relationships for the rest of his life.  We are stressed out beyond the end!!!

We then talked to Mike about college.  Mike told us he really wants to go to college because he wants to "stay in the school atmosphere".  He could never elaborate on getting a degree or working towards making something of himself.  We then talked about the military.  Mike got out a brochure that the Marines sent him and he was so excited that it was mailed to his name and not something like "18 year old resident" or something like that.  He said over and over "they mailed it to my name."  Mike took ROTC throughout high school and always received an A in the course.  He enjoyed it very much. He was enrolled in ROTC last semester and at about the time he started dating this girlfriend he stopped dressing out for class and doing the assignments.  He ended up failing ROTC for first semester and he dropped it for second semester.  As we were talking about the military to him he really got into the conversation and for a brief moment we were actually sitting there with the true Mike present.  His whole demeanor changed, his face lit up and he talked about an actual plan he could see for himself if he went the military route.  He told us he really wanted to go into the Air Force.  We told him we would take him to go talk to a recruiter to find out about it before he made a final decision about it.  We also encouraged him to not discuss it with anyone (namely girlfriend) so that he would not be influenced one way or the other. 

We finished up about talking about respect and rules in his mothers home.  His mother shared with him how she was not sleeping well because she is so stressed out with all the things he had been doing. My husband and Mike's mom also spent a great deal talking to him about his lieing and how they couldn't trust anything he said.  I felt like it all ended on a great note and that Mike was really going to do some good with it all.

BUT.......two days later all things changed.  Mike's mom called us Sunday evening upset.  Mike had lied to her on Saturday and Sunday.  She had told him she would pick him up from work on both days when he got off.  He called and said that his friend was there and would bring him home.  It ended up being his girlfriend was there to pick him up and not the friend who he claimed to be there.  On Sunday evening his mom asked to talk to his friend and Mike told her he left to go home to take a shower but would be right back to get him.  She should have got in her car right then and went to pick him up but she didn't.  Instead she called my husband and explained to him and then moments later Mike shows up after being dropped off by his girlfriend.   My husband asked to talk to Mike and when Mike got on the phone he started yelling at my husband telling him that he didn't care what him and his mom wanted him to do he was going to do what he wanted to do.  He continued yelling, saying some really fowl things and then told my husband he lost his son and hung up on him.  My husband immediately called back and talked to Mike's mom and told her he was on his way to her house.  By the time my husband got there things were really heated.  Apparently Mike was all up in his mom's boyfriends face and was being totally out of control.  My husband got Mike calmed down and he and Mike's mom talked to him again for 2 hours. In the end Mike still told them he wasn't going to listen to them and was going to do whatever he wanted.  He basically said he is not going to abide by his mom's house rules and will come and go as he pleases and will do whatever he wants when he is at home or out of the house.  My husband wanted Mike's mom to call the police to have an officer come and put some scare into him but she didn't want to do that.  So I can honestly say this is probably one of many outbursts that is going to take place until we can get him graduated on May 11.  They have decided that it is their responsibility to get him to graduation but after that he is going to have to learn to live life the hard way after that.  I have a strong feeling that they will probably kick Mike out of the house soon after graduation, if not before hand.  And there is NO WAY he is coming to live at our house being the way he is right now.  I don't trust him nor do I want our younger children to see the way he acts and the things he is doing.  It is all enough to drive a person crazy!

And to top it all off yesterday was my birthday.  It was so nice to have to deal with all of that on my birthday.  NOT!  Oh well.....it is now just another year closer to the big 4-0!  I only slept about an hour and a half last night.  I am just so stressed out from all of this!

I will continue to keep you posted.

Wow, Sami! What a mess! I think you did the right thing in having a little intervention sit down with Mike. You are right to be careful when it comes to exposing younger children to that sort of behavior. The Air Force -- wow. I would start taking him to recruiters now... get him focused. Make the future a tangible presence in his life. Show him that not only did you really listen to what he said but that you are behind him. Don't expect the lying and sneaking around to stop but form a new relationship with the adult Mike -- the one with goals and dreams. When I was his age, I had a friend (much older) who spoke with me that way. I wanted to rise to that level. Loved your comments on the new blog! So glad that you stopped in -- I'd missed your comments! Blessings! -Lacy