I am back for a second time as so much is laying on me that I must get it out.

First off, Jaxon has been relisted on the liver transplant list.  He is at the top of the list so he will get the first liver that becomes available.  The doctors decided that although liver #1 is starting to work he is having problems with other vitals organs that he did not have before the surgery that the liver may not be good enough.  Since damage has been done to his kidneys he will be listed for kidney transplants as well but they are not 100% sure if this will need to take place or not.  They have also put tubes in his heart to monitor it as his blood pressure has been extremely low for the past few days and as well, with the trauma on his liver and kidneys, his heart is being effected by that.  Please continue to pray!!!!  The family is trying to have a positive outlook but you can tell they know in the back of their minds things are not going well. 

My husband called Mike's mom late this afternoon to get the low down from the phone call we received yesterday.  I had told my husband that Mike probably left more than half of the true story out when he called us.  He was saying he was tired of everyone always getting onto him and that his mom always put him down.  I could almost assure you that the reason he is always gotten onto is because he is not listening or respecting his mother. 

So the story goes.  Mike calls us wanting to know if it is ok for him to move in with his girlfriend at her grandparents house for the reasons I just stated before.  Somewhere in the mixture we also found out that Mike's mom and boyfriend had went out of town and they ended up finding out that Mike had been in their room snooping around.  Mike told us it was because he had some friends over (which he told us his mother approved of) and he was in their room trying to make sure nothing was stolen. 

The truth is Mike's mom and boyfriend went out of town for one day.  They left Mike at home and told him he needed to care for the dogs and that he was NOT allowed to have anyone over.  Upon their return they discovered Mike had not fed or watered the dogs.  Nor did he make sure they were let outside so they went to the bathroom in the house.  They also found out he had friends in the house in which they also found cigarettes and alcohol in the house. 

First off Mike's mom should have NEVER left him home alone.  I fault her for that.  She as well as I know he is not responsible enough nor can you trust him.  She should have called us and had him stay with us for the day.  Secondly, Mike calls us painting a picture that his mother was not being a good mother so he needed to go live with his girlfriend.  I am sick and tired of him lieing to his dad.  Mike has no character at all and can lie about anything and that is NOT a good way to start out being an adult. And where he thought we would be ok with him living with a girlfriend is beyond me.  He KNOWS our morals and values and that we would have never approved of that.  And don't let me forget to mention the cigarettes and alcohol!!!!  I am so worried about this boy.  If it were me in charge I would demand he told me who bought the alcohol and cigarettes for him and I would have that person prosecuted before they could blink an eye.  What kind of irresponsible person is out there buying alcohol and cigarettes for underaged children? 

The one conclusion we have all come to is that Mike's best shot at life is to go into the military after he graduates from high school.  The boy needs to learn about respect, authority, and how to be a good person.  I couldn't think anywhere better that he could learn that from then the finest we have in our military units.  Mike said he is willing to consider going into the military. 

As I look back on all of this I can see where the problems arose from.  My hopes in sharing my story is that by chance someone who is reading this blog can help themselves before they are in a position that we are.  Mike has been raised without guidance.  His mother has let him do what he wants for a long time.  My husband has been plugged in but not to the standard he needs to be.  Nor does my husband demand respect from Mike.  I can count on my fingers and toes the number of times Mike has lied to my husband and not once has my husband really taught him about how disprectful it is to lie especially to his parents.  I think my husband is extremely lenient on his boys because they do not live with him.  My husband often says "What can I do about it....they live in their mothers home?"  I am sorry but that is not an answer.  There is PLENTY he can do about it because they are just as much his kids as they are the mothers.  If he doesn't like something he needs to say so.  My husband is so worried about rocking the boat that his exes may take him back to court for more child support.  You can't raise kids with that type of fear.  So what if you have to pay more money....if it means your kid is being raised properly than it is worth it. 

Boys have to be raised specially because their job is to be head of the household.  They are to protect and provide for their family.  They are the decision makers.  Unless Mike learns these things he is not going to make a good husband and father.  You cannot be a good man if you lie.  The reason Mike has made a career of it is because no one holds him accountable for it.  I know Mike's mom and dad probably do not want to face the fact that their son has a problem with being a liar but the truth is the truth.  He is not going to get better unless he is taught. Right now he gets by on lies.  That works for him.  They need to make it incredibly difficult for him to even breath (you know what I mean) after he has a told a lie so that he learns to not do it again in the future.  I know for a fact my husband will not call him and comfront him on all the information he found out today which was the truth and all Mike said on the phone was a lie.  I can also bet right now Mike is not grounded and is out and about with his girlfriend or friends.  You cannot blame the boy for turning out like he is when his parents are not stepping up to the plate and being parents.  And unfortunately this is not all going to go away once he turns 18.  I know they are both looking at just get him graduated and we are done.  With someone who lies and does illegal stuff.....the problems have only just begun once he becomes a legal adult.  I hope and pray they will get their heads on straight and really work the next 3 months to do what they can in what little time they have.  I have said it once and I will say it again.  Until he can get right I do not want him in my home.  I have too many little eyes and ears in my home that I do not want them learning this bad behavior.  It is so sad because Mike could really be so much more.