I am not going to get overly excited because we have not heard an official word but I think Mike may have went back home.  I just visited his girlfriend's Myspace page and her headline reads that she is bored, misses him and hates his parents...followed by a profanity.  She can hate us all she wants .... no love loss there!! I will have my husband call in the morning to find out if he is back home or not.

We had a pleseant evening tonight.  The boys were over- we did some homework with them and went out to eat before taking them home. AJ has a big Math test tomorrow that we studied for and I made a deal with him if he gets a B or higher that I would buy him a pair of Hollister flip flops.  I want to share a cute writing I found in Brock's backpack.  This writing is Brock through and through:

Ballroom Dancing

My opinion is that ballroom dancing is not for me.  Because we have to dance and sometimes I get confused on all the moves in the second part of dancing. When we have to use partners we have to do three moves very fast, then I mess up when everyone else is doing it right. Why do we have to do ballroom dancing?

Another part I don't like is when we have to hold hands with our partners.  But really I do not know where my partners hands have been.  And one more thing I don't like is how my partner acts. First she messes me up by doing something else while I'm doing it right.  Then she says like stop messing up.  And that is all the reason's why I don't like ballroom dancing.

Is that not the cutest?  I am going to save this and share it with him when he is older for a laugh.

Hylari passed a big Social Studies test yesterday so I got her a "Way to Go" balloon and a $5 Walmart card so that she could buy some music for her MP3 player.

I am still having problems sleeping.  I worked out about an hour ago hoping that would help me.  Then now finding this possible good news about Mike I am certain I will sleep better tonight.

Tomorrow night we have  a Parent's Math  workshop at Hylari's school followed by a Family Fun Night.  The PTSA is putting on the Family Fun Night so I will be working the event and then signed my hubby and I up for clean up duty.

The kids were supposed to go to an Internet Safety Class tonight but we received a phone call that they had to reschedule it to next week.  I am kind of glad it wasn't tonight since AJ had to study for his Math test.

Jaxon is doing soooooooooooo good!  Please keep the prayers coming!  His mom posted new pictures of him on the website and he looks absolutely beautiful!!!  PTL!!!  He has all the tubes out except for his feeding tube.  I can't wait to be able to post that he is up and running around. 

I can't think of much else going on.  Work has been kind of busy lately so I have not got around to visiting my friends.  I am certainly thinking about you all. 

Are we already going through enough?  I posted earlier the new findings with Mike.  Of course that adds fuel to the fire we are already feeling.  But collectively the three of us have decided to let Mike be.  He has made his choices and now he must live with them.  He is being completely disrespectful and we all are done dealing with him until he can wake up and smell the coffee.

As I have posted before my husband has been married twice before me.  So needless to say he came with alot of baggage.  His first wife (Mike's mom) has not been that hard to deal with.  She has had her problems but for the most part we do not have alot of issues with her.  My husbands second wife.....lets just keep it at I do not cuss but if I did I would have plenty of names to call her.  She has made a career of marrying men and producing children in order to get child support.  She is currently on her 5th marriage and 6th child.  She cheated on my husband when she was married to him and is currently married to that guy.  The two of them are absolutely horrible to my husband which I don't get.......they were the ones that cheated!!  Just the calibur of people, I guess.  She is also a terrible mother.  She doesn't care about her kids. She just wants those child support checks to keep coming.  In fact when she told my husband about wanting a divorce she told him she never loved him but needed to have more children.  Isn't that nice?

So, tonight I was in the kitchen making dinner when my husband came in to get the phone.  He told me he was going to call the younger boys mom to make sure she got the note he gave to AJ the other day and to let her know we would be bringing the boys home later tomorrow night.  My husband has always been super duper commincative with her.  He lets her know everything that is going on with the boys (because she doesn't bother to find out and they live in her house!) etc.  Over the past 2 months he has found it very difficult to get in touch with her.  Her husband either quit or got fired from his job and is not working.  This has resulted in her working full time at night.  So of course we understand she has to sleep during the day and do not call until early evening.  Most of the time no one answers the phone at their house.  The boys tell us that their mom and her husband do not like to answer the phone so they don't do it or they just turn the ringer off.  So we have had to result in giving a note to the boys and hope their mother gets them.  My husband was calling to make sure she got the note from Sunday because it had dates on them through July of the boys schedule.  I hear my husband say to her as she answers the phone "Hey! What's going on?" (he says that to anyone he calls) he then says "You are the hardest person to get a hold of".  He said it all in a nice upbeat joking voice.  My husband is quiet for a while and then I hear him ask her is she is in a bad mood.  He is quiet again and he says "I am not trying to ruin your evening"...."I am not wigging out..." He can hardly get a word in because she is going off on him.  We are not sure what was up her rear but she was completely nasty to him and all he was doing was try to place a call to make sure she got the note with the dates on it.  I guess we shouldn't be informative to her because it ticks her off.  And I know for a fact that my husband was not rude to her.  I listened to his whole call.  I also know because my husband has this theory if he is nice to her she won't take him back to court for more child support.  There are PLENTY of times he really needed to say things for the sake of his kids and he has not for that matter.  I told him being nice to her is not going to keep her from doing it if that is what she sets her mind to do.  The only thing he said during the call that could have ticked her off which was towards the end is when he accidentally called her by my name and not hers.  Ooooo! Not good. 

So he gets off the phone and is mad.  He then tells me he wants to get custody of the boys because they shouldn't have to suffer with such a bad mother. I have always told him I am behind him 100% if he wants to get custody of the boys but I wouldn't work if we did that.  For one, I have high blood pressure and diabetes.  Health wise I cannot take on the kids and work full time and do all I do around our house.  Secondly the boys have not been properly parented in their home and really need the one on one to get them where they need to be as far as manners, hygene, school work, family relations, etc. goes.  Nor would I let Hylari take a back seat to what she is used to.  My husband is the type of person who has to have $500 in his pocket at all times or he freaks out.  He is the finanical planner for our household and does a terrific job at it.  However, if I stayed home he wouldn't be able to have $500 in his pocket and he plain and simply is not going to do that.  He then blamed it on me saying he will just have to let his kids' lives go down the drain then.  Sorry but that is not my fault.  I have offered to be the mother these children deserve and am willing to sacrafice whatever it takes to give them all, Hylari included, what they need but I will not work doing it.  I let him cool down for a while and then told him he was being unfair blaming me.  He told me he was in a rock and hard place.  I didn't say anything but he is only in a rock and hard place because he is not willing to find a way to make it work. 

Once I got Hylari in bed I had held it all in for long enough and let it all out.  I needed a good cry.  I have always lived my life on a narrow path.  Either it is black or it is white.  It is either wrong or it is right.  It is either empty or full.  I am extremely responsible and independent.  I have never had so much drama in my life.........even as a teenaged girl.  My husband looks at everything as "unfortunate events" in his life.  Where I look at my own as choices and what results am I going to get.  That is why I think everything through carefully and thoroughly. 

I really do not think I can take much more.  Which makes me kind of laugh and reminds me of a situation - all though it started out bad it all turned out well.  Several years ago when my sister was pregnant with my oldest niece she started spotting.  I quickly left work and went to the hospital where she was.  We spent the whole day at the hospital and when we took her home they told us that they were not sure if she miscarried or not because she was newly pregnant.  They told her she needed to remain stress free and to relax and to go back to the doctor in a few days.  We all went to my parents house for dinner that night.  While we were eating dinner my mother has a heart attack and we have to rush her to the hospital.  So much for keeping my sister stress free.  We spent the night at the hospital and I ended up going back to my parents house to take care of my mom's pets (she is a pet lover and I know she would have stressed if her pets weren't taken care of) and to get Hylari to bed.  As I was driving home I talked to God and told Him I couldn't take much more.  Well God showed me I was stronger than I thought.  I was at my parents house for about 30 minutes when the hospital called and told me that my dad had passed out.  They were taking tests of him and everything was looking good and they thought it was just from all the stress.  I told God....Ok...you prooved to me I could take more but enough is enough! 

So who knows what tomorrow will bring....

I haven't been able to bring myself to blog for a few days.  The situation with Mike has consumed me.  All 3 of us actually.  But we have come to terms to let him go. 

We did find out that Mike's girlfriends grandma called him in sick to school.  Mike's mom called in a little while afterwards and got the whole thing cleared up as far as letting them know it wasn't her that called.  Mike received one day of in school suspension in which he is serving today.

Mike's mom also went over to the grandparents house to try to work all this out and they told her that they have already been to the police station and there is nothing we can do about it.  Which is true....in our state Mike can move out as long as he can support himself at 17.  I guess the state looks at if another family can support him that is justified. 

Mike's mom said the grandparents home is discusting and they are not well kept people themselves.  How nasty that Mike prefers that over what he had.  Mike's mom also changed the locks on her home so that he can't be going into her house when she is not there.  Luckily Mike does not have a key to our home. 

Apparently while Mike's mom was at the grandparents home Mike and his girlfriend were sitting on the couch eating and he never even acknowledged his mom being there.  Never spoke a word to her. 

I can't stand to look at pictures of him.  Especially the one on his Myspace.  The picture of him on the Myspace is him today and that is NOT the Mike I know. 

I have not slept through the night in about a week.  I can't even begin to try to go to sleep until at least 1:00 A.M.  I know Mike's mom is on the fence about being strong and giving in.  She misses the boy she raised but doesn't want the boy Mike has become to be the one that comes back home. 

I am so ticked at him because I look back at all the things his parents and I have done for him since I met him about 7 years ago and he has zero respect for his us today.  He is completely ungrateful. 

In the week that he has been at the grandparents house he has 300 points worth of assignments at school that he just didn't do.  He has an F, 2 D's and two C's that are close to becoming D's.  It is absolutely pathetic.

I have been planning Mike's high school graduation party for months.  I have already bought decorations for it but I seriously doubt we will get to end up having one for him.  My husband has already said that if Mike does not call us and his mother nor start turning himself around we are not going to go through with the graduation plans. We were going to give him a nice amount of money for his graduation present.  But we are not going to be a hand out either.  If he doesn't talk to us between now and then the money will be put back and saved until he "comes to".  The same goes with his birthday money which is 3 days before graduation.

My husband keeps telling me to not let all this consume me and to quit getting upset about it.  He tells me that Mike has made his choice and now he has to live with it. 

That is all I can do for today.  I am going to work on getting myself out of this funk I am in from all of it. 

I do want to take a moment and thank you for the prayers for Jaxon and to ask for them to keep coming.  Jaxon is doing so good!!!  He is going to be moved out of PICU within days.  PTL!!!!

I have not got around to my favorite friends blogs.  I hope to get to do that soon as well.

Today has been a very trying day.  I spent the morning in tears at work.  This situation is hard enough and now knowing these wacko people are going to approve everything we tell Mike we disapprove of makes it that much harder.

Mike's mom called the school and told them that she was not the one that called in for Mike this morning and that his absence is not excused.  The school has now changed the absence from an excused absence to a truancy.  With the truancy Mike is going to receive 8 days of school displinary action.  Mike's mom and my husband have been playing phone tag today so we do not know who actually called in for him yet.  We did learn through the school handbook if his girlfriend did it she will receive 5 days of in school suspension.

I am so proud of Mike's mom for taking a stand and notifying the school.  Excessive absences was something we were all concerned with when he decided to be the man and move out.  Mom has now showed Mike that try as he might that avenue is not going to work.

We also found out some defeating news.  In our state it is legal for a 17 year old to move out of the parents home without permission.  The only catch is they must be able to provide for themselves.  So there is a chance we can report him as a runaway and the law will do something about it.  If not, the law does state that if the 17 year old does anything illegal he will be charged as an adult and not a minor.  Which we have already told Mike that he is too close to 18 and if he did anything the law is going to view him as an adult.  He didn't seem to care. 

His mom did tell him this morning when he called again trying to get her to call him in sick that he needed to move back home and Mike quickly responded "I will just go to school then."  As if he has it so bad. 

I think I mentioned yesterday but if I didn't one of his good friends put a comment on his Myspace that Mike was being an idiot.  I hope Mike sees that his true friends thinks he is making mistakes just like we do.  Mike had told us when we talked to him a week ago that none of his friends wanted to be his friend anymore.  Which is probably true.  His true friends that he has had for years are not the kind to mess around with drugs and alcohol.  His new little click of friends he has met in the past few years do.  Then he has his head so far up his girlfriends rear that he doesn't have time for his true friends.  His girlfriend won't allow him any guy time to be with his friends. 

The beat goes on.........unfortunately.

It looks as if intervention #3 is going to be taking place shortly.  Mike has talked to his mom and she said he basically is trying to get her to beg him to come home AND allow him to do what he wants.  Which she is being very strong and is not going to allow that to happen.  She said he called her yesterday to ask for her to call him in sick to school so that he could work on a paper.  She asked him if his girlfriend was staying home too and he said yes so his mom told him no way he was to go to school.  Well, low and behold SOMEONE called him in at school today because he is marked as absent.  My husband and Mike's mom are furious!  Either his girlfriend called him in or the grandparents did AFTER Mike's mom told him he HAD to go to school.  And if the grandparents did it they have NO authority to do so.  It is incredibly hard for the 3 of us parents to do the right thing for our son when we have to work against these crazy people who are encouraging everything on Mike's side.  I know Mike is not mature enough to see it but for crying out loud.......he comes from good people and why on earth is he picking to be with people who from my point of view are plain nuts???  My sister graduated with the Chief of Police over the town the Mike lives in and she has told us to say the word and she will call him to step in and help us.  We just do not know what to do.  Sure, we can have the police go over and pull him out of the grandparents house but he is just going to go back.  And I am sure the grandparents will welcome him back with open arms despite what we are saying or the police are saying.  They obviously didn't do too well in raising their children if they have a daughter who chose a man over her own child and then had to raise their grandchild because of that.  And now their daughter is back living at home at 30 something years of age!  Everyone keeps telling us that Mike will come around and to let him learn his lesson.  Logically we know that is what he needs to do.  But we are so afraid that he is going to make mistakes that are going to effect the rest of his life. That is what we want to save him from.  We want him to see the world of opportunity he has right now laying at his feet if he would just pick it up.  Instead he wants to walk backwards and make everything way harder on himself.  It is so hard to watch your child fail.  You spend your whole life investing in and helping them to succeed.  This is one of the most hardest and most painful things I have ever had to do.  And what hurts the most is he does not want our influence at all.  He wants the influence of some wacky people just because they will let him do what he wants to do. 

I am too frustrated to write anymore.  I do want to ask for prayers for Jaxon and his momma.  It sounds like they all had a rough night.  Please pray for them and ask 5 others to do the same.  The power of prayer works!

Have a great day!

Good morning!

This week is actually flying by fast.  That is good!  I am ready for the weekend. 

Hylari ripped another contact putting them in this morning.  I fear this is going to get expensive until she learns how to work with them properly.  We have a years supply but two have already been ripped in 2 weeks time.  That years supply is not going to last long if we average ripping one lens a week! She was so worried this morning that she was going to be in trouble for ripping the new one. I told her she wasn't in trouble but that she need to slow down and take her time.  She now sees just how delicate the lenses are.  She doesn't like anyone in the same room with her as she is putting them in and taking them out. I was the same way when I started wearing contacts.  But I think I could assist her or at least keep her calmed down when she is having problems if she would allow me to be there with her.

Do you watch American Idol?  Hyl and I usually watch the first two nights or so of the auditions and then we usually do not pick it up again until the final two shows.  I see a report each morning on our local news station that I watch while I get ready for work.  One of the contestants, David Cook,  is from our neighboring city.  I am sooooo impressed with his singing and his look.  He is a cutie pa-tootie! And that voice just makes me melt!  I would certainly buy his CD's if he ever came out with one. Sometimes I think it is better for the contestants to not win Idol because most of the Idols do not go on to be very successful.  Except for Carrie Underwood, whom I adore!  Anyway I wish him luck....even if he gets voted off I think he could still make a music career.  Here is a picture of him in case you do not watch.  Check him out the next time Idol is on!

Jaxon opened his eyes off and on yesterday which was a very good sign. He would also look for his mom when she said his name.  He also has been receiving food through a tube and is going #2 on his own which may sound gross to talk about but the doctors say it is an incredibly big deal. And the bleed in his stomach is shrinking.   The power of prayer is working.  I know there are so many people praying for this little guy!

The boys were over for dinner last night.  I made fishsticks, mac and cheese, and green beans. I found another crowd favorite.  Wahoooo!  Everyone made happy plates!  LOL.  Yesterday my husband received two emails from two of AJ's teachers stating they have noticed he is not studying for tests and not paying attention in class.  He recently had an assignment in one of his classes and got 28 out of 100 points.  I thought with all that is going on with Mike that my husband would really turn around with the younger boys and get them focused.  Instead when they were over last night my husband allowed them to play.  And today AJ's mom is having him miss school to go to the Auto Show with his stepdad and this on a day when a final draft of a paper is being typed in class and due by the end of class.  I so see us going through rounds 2 and 3 with the boys like we are with Mike.  I just do not understand why they are so laid back in their parenting and then end up at the end of the road like we have with Mike.  That is why I had to take a step back. It is all too frustrating for me.  I want to get in there and assist them to the right road and keep them on that road but their biological parents want to just float down a river and let happen what will happen and then wonder why the boat turned upside down.  I just don't get it???

I have alot of pain going on in my abdominal area.  It is exactly where I have the scar from the c-section from Hylari's birth.  I believe what I have are adhesions, which are bands of scar tissue that bands other tissues together.  It is only painful when I am on my period and then for a week to two weeks afterwards.  I have told my doctor about it but she didn't seem overly concerned.  However, I have had more pain this month than I have had since I started feeling the pain back towards the end of last year.  Abdominal adhesions are quite common for anyone who has had abdominal surgery.  However, most people experience the pain from the adhesions within a few months to years after the surgery.  Mine did not pop up until 12 years later.  I have done some reading on it and they can go in and cut the adhesions; however, going in to cut them is going to result in more scar tissue which in turn could result in more adhesions.  So it is kind of a try to live with the pain kind of thing.  The problem is each time I move I feel the pain.  Doesn't matter if I am sitting, standing, or walking.  However, I am on the down slope now so hopefully the pain will be subsiding soon.

No news from Mike still.  Of course, they do not need to communicate by Myspace anymore so I can't find much information from there.  His girlfriend does communicate to a friend about some of the stuff but not much in the last few days.  I did see on Mike's schools announcements this morning that the balance is due for his graduation announcements on Wednesday.  I will be curious to see if he calls us or his mom to see if one of us will pay the bill.  I also noticed he is also out of lunch money in his lunch account.  These are all the things that he didn't think about that his parents provide for him when he decided to be the man and move out.  I guess he will have to find a way to manage his finances on his very part time Sonic job.  Another big thing that is coming up is prom.  There will be a tux to rent, tickets to buy, a dinner, and pictures and possibly a limo.  We would have gladly paid for all of that IF he remained at home and followed the rules of his mothers house. 

Have a great day!

We had our PTSA meeting last night and I am now officially the 2nd Vice President-Memberships for the 2008-2009 school year.  I am looking forward to it although I know I am going to be pretty busy.  If anyone out there that reads my blog and has been in the Memberships office position before I would love to hear your ideas about how you achieved 100% membership or close to it.  As always after a PTA meeting my calendar gets bogged down.  There is so much going on between now and the end of the school year.  It was nice having a break around the holidays but we are once again in full swing!  It is all worth it though!  We have alot of wonderful things to plan and do for our middle schoolers that I think they will truly enjoy. 

Hylari is back in contacts this morning.  She ripped her first pair after only having them for about a week.  We had to wait for her years supply of contacts to come in, in which my hubby picked up last night.  I gave her a manicure two nights ago after we knew the contacts would be in.  I think her nails were not filed down good enough and that is what caused her to rip the contact last week.

Jaxon got switched back to the regular venilator last night.  If all goes well today they are going to try to do a scope to find out where the bleed in his stomache is coming from.  The doctors are thinking (and hoping) it came from an ulcer or gastritis.  Please pray that is their findings and it not something more serious. 

Through Jaxon I learned about two cute little children named Abella and Hudson.  They are siblings and found out they both had brain tumors.  Abella's tumors have been treated and she is on her road to recovery.  The family has recently learned that Hudson cannot be cured.  Please keep this dear family in your prayers as they face each day knowing they are going to be loosing their son.  They are making the most of each day at the present building memories of their time left with Hudson. You can check out their story here  http://www.hudsonandabella.org/index.php

Have a great day!

Late last night I got onto Mike's girlfriends myspace and read a comment from a friend of hers congratulating her on Mike moving in.  She also had made a comment about what Mike's parents can do with theirselves now which had all kinds of cuss words in it.  Stupidity at its finest!!  We have not talked to Mike's mom yet today to confirm if this has truly happened or not, but my husband and I assume it probably has.  And if it has, Mike is on his own.  This boy has had a heart problem, asthma, and a complete tear in his PCL in which his parents made sure he had the finest medical care to treat these problems. They also had braces put on his teeth and had him see a top of the line dermetologist for some acne problems.  He has also been provided with his needs and wants throughout his childhood and if it means more to him to be able to participate in underaged drinking, coming and going as he pleases and sleeping with a 16 year old that has a disease then I guess he is going to have to learn the hard way.  Sooner or later the law or his life is going to catch up with him.  And these idiotic people who allowed him to move in must have issues of their own.  What kind of people would allow a child to move in with them without talking to the child's parents?  Of course they must have a sign in their yard that reads "Freeloaders R Us" because do they not only have Mike's girlfriend living there, but we have recently learned their daughter (Mike's girlfriend's mother) just moved in last week because she and her second or third husband broke up, and now they have Mike.  There may even be more people there for all we know.  It is certainly a different type of household than Mike is used to living in.  It sounds like a Jerry Springer show in the making.  What is sad is Mike prefers that over his family who only wants to make sure what he is doing is legal and is done with morals and values.  I guess at this point trash is more attractive to him than having some pride and dignity and making something of himself.  Mike made it clear that he wants to do what he pleases so along with that he has to handle all that comes along with it.  The one thing he has complained about his girlfriend is how controlling of him she is.  Well buddy now that you are under her roof...that game has just went into overtime.    

Now for an update on Jaxon. Jaxon has taken some steps backwards.  He has had several bleeds in different parts of his body.  He has had to go back onto the the oscilating ventilator; however, they are going to try to start weaning him off by lowering the settings today.  They did do a brain scan and found that there was no concern that the brain had been effected which is good.  They are still pulling off fluid from his body.  You can tell the toll it is all taking on Jaxon's momma.  Her posts have been pretty short lately whereas they are normally long and full of life.  She comments how it has been over a month since she has got to hold her son or hear his voice.  You know that has to be incredibly hard.  Then they also have a daughter at home which is about an hour car ride away so she is not able to see her too much.  If all had went well with the first transplant they would probably be heading home here shortly.  Jaxon has yet to even leave the PICU.  He will have to be transferred to a normal inpatient floor for about a week and then have to stay on the Ronald McDonald floor for a month before getting to go back home.  They still have a long journey ahead of them at the hospital which is somewhat defeating to them at this point.  But they are people of faith and know that Jaxon's healing is all in God's timing, not their own.  So they keep fighting right along side Jaxon.

Last night we watched the KU basketball game. I know this may sound hypocritical of me but I have really been in to KU basketball this year.  The guys are incredible to watch.  They do some stuff on there and you have to remind yourself....these guys are only in college!  It will be amazing to see what they will do if they go on to play professional basketball.  Anyway, last night was senior night in which the seniors played their final regular season game at home, before the championship games begin.  Some of favorite players are seniors and it is sad to see them go.  They played an amazing game last night and beat Texas Tech by over 50 points! 

As you can assume it has been pretty stressful in our house as of late.  We do not talk about the stuff going on with Mike around the kids because we don't want them to be stressed out about it nor do we want to ruin their image of Mike.  They adore him.  (As we do too..just not the choices he is making!!)  I wanted to do something to make my husband laugh....so after we got Hylari into bed I said to him "Watch this!" and I attempted to do my best moon walking; however it was totally terrible. My husband said, "Yeah, well watch this!"  He attempts to do the moon walk in a square.  We were both falling on the floor laughing.  It was a nice laugh and very much needed.

Have a great day!

I have so much to say today. 

On Friday evening we went over to Mike's mom's house and had a three hour discussion with him and his mom.  The discussion went really well.  We started out with the hard stuff like drinking, sex, and drugs.  Mike did admit to drinking and sex but denied drugs so I hope he is being honest about that part that he really isn't doing that.  It is really hard to tell these days because Mike lies far more than he tells the truth.  We once again shared with him all the reasons of why he shouldn't be doing those things and the consequences of it all being illegal and how he could land himself up in jail or prison.  We also shared with him that the person supplying him with alcohol is toying with a $5000 fine and up to 6 months in prison.  We told him we would act upon it if we caught him drinking or with alcohol in his possession again.  The having sex issue is really becoming more and more serious.  I totally appreciate the responses I received about not forcing Mike to break up with his girlfriend.  My husband, Mike's mom, and I all have all thought about the fact that if we do force them to break up it will only cause them to try to be together even more so.  Without being too graphic there is a solid reason why we do not want them together.....at least not alone.  While I need not have to state the obvious of it being unbiblical to have premarital sex I will just say we recently learned that Mike's girlfriend is carrying something and it is NOT a baby.  I am sure you can think about it for a minute and get what I mean. Mike is completely unfazed by this. So you can see why it is vitally important we not allow them to be together-alone!  While this puppy love probably will not last forever in the end it could effect Mike and having relationships for the rest of his life.  We are stressed out beyond the end!!!

We then talked to Mike about college.  Mike told us he really wants to go to college because he wants to "stay in the school atmosphere".  He could never elaborate on getting a degree or working towards making something of himself.  We then talked about the military.  Mike got out a brochure that the Marines sent him and he was so excited that it was mailed to his name and not something like "18 year old resident" or something like that.  He said over and over "they mailed it to my name."  Mike took ROTC throughout high school and always received an A in the course.  He enjoyed it very much. He was enrolled in ROTC last semester and at about the time he started dating this girlfriend he stopped dressing out for class and doing the assignments.  He ended up failing ROTC for first semester and he dropped it for second semester.  As we were talking about the military to him he really got into the conversation and for a brief moment we were actually sitting there with the true Mike present.  His whole demeanor changed, his face lit up and he talked about an actual plan he could see for himself if he went the military route.  He told us he really wanted to go into the Air Force.  We told him we would take him to go talk to a recruiter to find out about it before he made a final decision about it.  We also encouraged him to not discuss it with anyone (namely girlfriend) so that he would not be influenced one way or the other. 

We finished up about talking about respect and rules in his mothers home.  His mother shared with him how she was not sleeping well because she is so stressed out with all the things he had been doing. My husband and Mike's mom also spent a great deal talking to him about his lieing and how they couldn't trust anything he said.  I felt like it all ended on a great note and that Mike was really going to do some good with it all.

BUT.......two days later all things changed.  Mike's mom called us Sunday evening upset.  Mike had lied to her on Saturday and Sunday.  She had told him she would pick him up from work on both days when he got off.  He called and said that his friend was there and would bring him home.  It ended up being his girlfriend was there to pick him up and not the friend who he claimed to be there.  On Sunday evening his mom asked to talk to his friend and Mike told her he left to go home to take a shower but would be right back to get him.  She should have got in her car right then and went to pick him up but she didn't.  Instead she called my husband and explained to him and then moments later Mike shows up after being dropped off by his girlfriend.   My husband asked to talk to Mike and when Mike got on the phone he started yelling at my husband telling him that he didn't care what him and his mom wanted him to do he was going to do what he wanted to do.  He continued yelling, saying some really fowl things and then told my husband he lost his son and hung up on him.  My husband immediately called back and talked to Mike's mom and told her he was on his way to her house.  By the time my husband got there things were really heated.  Apparently Mike was all up in his mom's boyfriends face and was being totally out of control.  My husband got Mike calmed down and he and Mike's mom talked to him again for 2 hours. In the end Mike still told them he wasn't going to listen to them and was going to do whatever he wanted.  He basically said he is not going to abide by his mom's house rules and will come and go as he pleases and will do whatever he wants when he is at home or out of the house.  My husband wanted Mike's mom to call the police to have an officer come and put some scare into him but she didn't want to do that.  So I can honestly say this is probably one of many outbursts that is going to take place until we can get him graduated on May 11.  They have decided that it is their responsibility to get him to graduation but after that he is going to have to learn to live life the hard way after that.  I have a strong feeling that they will probably kick Mike out of the house soon after graduation, if not before hand.  And there is NO WAY he is coming to live at our house being the way he is right now.  I don't trust him nor do I want our younger children to see the way he acts and the things he is doing.  It is all enough to drive a person crazy!

And to top it all off yesterday was my birthday.  It was so nice to have to deal with all of that on my birthday.  NOT!  Oh well.....it is now just another year closer to the big 4-0!  I only slept about an hour and a half last night.  I am just so stressed out from all of this!

I will continue to keep you posted.

Last night was somewhat of a test of my backing off theory.  I always call my husband on my way home from work and we chit chat about our day, what we are going to do for the evening, etc.  Almost immediately after he answered the phone he told me he just got off the phone with Mike's mom and that he had so much to tell me.  He started off by telling me that Mike had totalled his car.  (Which I read last week on Mike's girlfriends myspace that she had been in a car wreck and I told my husband he should call Mike to make sure it wasn't him she was in the car wreck with).  What ended up happening is it sleated (mixture of snow and ice) last Thursday.  School had been cancelled due to the slick roads (remember I didn't even go into work...so it was pretty bad out).  Mike had been begging his mom to go out and she told him no.  She also told him he had not been driving long enough to have the experience to be able to drive in this kind of weather.  Apparently he kept on for hours that she finally said "Whatever, Mike, do what you feel you need to do."  She was hoping that he would still not go but that was all the green light he needed.  He left and went to pick his girlfriend up and upon leaving her house he slid down the hill and ended up in a ditch.  His car was not worth all that much and he ended up bending the frame and breaking out the windshield that it was totalled.  Thank goodness no one was hurt!  I think this was an answered prayer from the good Lord above because like I had stated last week .... it has been brought to the attention of his parents that Mike is drinking, yet no one took his car away.  I have been praying......so thank Jesus, I am so glad the car is now out of the mix.  I do have to say we are ticked because this accident happened a week ago today yet we just found out about it last night.  However, IF my husband would have called and inquired after I told him about the info on Mike's girlfriends myspace we would have known much sooner.  (That is an example of I find this information out and no one wants to do anything with it!)  Anyway, Mike's mom also shared with my husband that she found additional bottles of alcohol in Mike's room.  And she found some notes that Mike's girlfriend had written to him that had some very strange stuff in them.  We have only met Mike's girlfriend a few times. She has always been real quiet when we were around her.  We actually liked her alot.  She was way better than the last one.  Mike also told us about how she is a real good christian girl.  (which now I think he was just blowing smoke about that...I think that was just to pull the wool over our eyes to what she really is.) Anyway,  she used to have her myspace page closed to where no one could read it.  Then about a month or so ago she opened it up.  After reading all the stuff on her myspace I told my husband that I think she has mental issues.  Which for starters she has a real messed up family life.  She has many poems written on her myspace that show she is incredibly insecure.  So Mike's mom tells my husband about the contents of these notes she found and told my husband that she thinks she has mental issues.  (Once again.....duh!  I have been saying that for a month now).  Then Mike's mom tells my husband about how one day Mike was over at his girlfriends house and was getting ready to go to the gym to work out and how the girlfriend told him if he left to go work out they were over.  Who does this chic think she is?  And why is Mike obeying her?  Then his mother also found a note that the girlfriend wrote about how the delivery room was going to be one day when she and Mike has kids.  This from a 16 year old!!!

So we have set up a meeting for Friday evening.  It will be me, my husband and Mike for sure.  We are also going to ask Mike's mom to be there too but we are not sure if she will agree to it or not.  I tried to get out of it and just have my husband, Mike's mom and Mike discuss the problems but my husband wants me there.  Lucky me!  My husband is going to tell Mike that he has to stop seeing his girlfriend immediately.  Besides doing things they shouldn't be Mike is so distracted from what he should be focused on by being focused on this girl.  We are going to get to the bottom of who is supplying him with alcohol and will have to seek that person out to make sure that stops.  We also have to get Mike focused on what he is doing once he graduates.  We (me, my husband and Mike's mom) all think it is best he goes into the military.  Mike wants to get a part time job and go to community college part time but we think that is only because he doesn't want to have to leave his girlfriend.  Which as I said we are going to make her go bye-bye.  There is so much more but I am not going to type it out.  I will let you know the results.

After all this happening I certainly thought it would make my husband be more focused on the younger two boys.  But that is not the case.  The younger two come over for dinner every Wednesday night. Wednesday nights are homework nights.  NO video games.  It is the one night a week we know the boys read and do their homework since their mother does not make sure those things get done.  Well, Brock wants to figure out how to get farther in his Zelda game so my husband gets on the PC and finds out some hints.  He then gets Brock's Nintendo DS out and lets him play it to try to get farther along in the game.  I didn't say a word.  I helped Hylari with her homework and cooked dinner.  My husband is going to be in the same boat with the younger boys because the primary focus is video games with them.  That is ALL they do at their mothers house and it is becoming a problem again at our house the weekends they are over.  After my husband took the boys home I did mention to him that he really needs to gain control and focus on what is important, which is certainly not video games.  He says he understands.  And I know he does but he doesn't put forth action to it.  I told him he is going to go down this same road with AJ and Brock that he is with Mike if he doesn't show authority and teach them what is important.  To which he said he was NOT going to go down this road with them that he is currently with Mike.  I do hope he really means it.  I understand that he doesn't get to see them but every other weekend but it doesn't make him a great dad to just let them play video games.  What would make him a great dad is to keep them focused, teach them to build character in themselves, to be successful, polite, responsible, and respectable, to name a few.  I hope that he sees the trying to be a "cool dad" didn't work with Mike.  Sooner or later you have to deal with it all.  So he has to decide if he wants to deal with it as it comes along and teach them or does he want to be cool and let it all snowball until he HAS to deal with serious, complicated, and illegal issues like he is now with Mike.

Gosh....aren't you glad I am done with my drama?

Just a quick update on Jaxon.  He continues to do well.  He is following commands like squeezing the doctors hand and waving good bye etc.  The doctors are still scheduled to take out the regular ventilator today.  He still is not going #1 like they would want him to but they are not overly concerned about it and will allow some more time for his kidneys to get back to working properly.  All in all they are happy with his progress. 

Now a quick update on the meeting with Mike.  My husband has talked to Mike's mom and she has invited us over to her home to discuss with Mike tomorrow night. I will let you know how it all goes.  Please pray.  I know it is not going to be pretty.